Personality

I'm posting this message for all of us... because it's not just me who should be informed about Blair's personality profile and how it is different from some of us.  I know Nate wasn't just calling me out on this...I hope not anyway.  I think he was trying to reach out and try to mend the bridges....
She was found to be ISTJ, and the link above after the test was interesting to say the least.

I'm hoping that just as this helps her understand better, it may also allow you to understand her better, and how her personality may not be easily understood.


Had a few interesting sections:

"Because of this they are often misjudged as being hard-hearted, or as having ice in their veins, for people fail to see their good intentions and their vulnerability to criticism"


"Inspectors hold dear their family social ceremonies-weddings, birthdays, and anniversaries - although they tend to be shy if the occasion becomes too large or too public. Generally speaking, Inspectors are not comfortable with anything that gets too fancy"

Just figured maybe knowing this would help you understand better who she is, as being the ISTJ is an opposite of many of your traits.  I wanted to send this along, I knew of her personality, but at best this would allow for additional understanding and emphathy.

FYI-- I've been categorized/classified as an ESFJ - so there are only two traits of ours that are opposite. 
--so, let's take the "feeling" part:
Instinctively employ personal feelings and impact on people in decision situations, Naturally sensitive to people needs and reactions. Naturally seek consensus and popular opinions.  Unsettled by conflict; have almost a toxic reaction to disharmony.
--and for the "extraverted" part:
Act first, think/reflect later, Feel deprived when cutoff from interaction with the outside world, Usually open to and motivated by outside world of people and things, Enjoy wide variety and change in people relationships

From 500+ miles away and having very little face to face interaction with Blair (by her choice), I'm asked to be more understanding and empathetic.  I do not lack empathy, never have.  I do understand and appreciate her differences (yet again, ONE more time, I said I understood the private ceremony - I didn't like it, but damn it, I said I understood it and supported it).  The bottom line issue is the lack of interaction - that's the only way any two people (or group of people) can discover how they interact and how they can come together in a social situation.  It's the only real way to figure out the differences. 
 
So, now I wonder, if, after reviewing our two differing traits, Blair can appreciate our two differences (based on a test) and have some additional understanding and empathy for me as well.  Only fair.

I'm about to go all religious on thee...prepare thyself

Last night I had a church council meeting and as I waited for it to start, I opened up a pamphlet someone gave me of daily devotions. I just flipped through it, not really paying much attention to the dates, just the header topics - truth, he forgets, taking time.
One that jumped off the page at me was the "he forgets" devotion.

"it is I who sweep away your transgressions for My own sake and remember your sins no more: (Isaiah 43:25)Have you ever had a scab that you just couldn't stop picking? Just about the time it starts to heal, you're tempted to dig at it and start the process all over again. Sometimes it's the same with our sins. We know that God has forgiven us, but we keep dredging it up over and over again. Next time you're plagued by a past sin you've confessed, remember Jeremiah 31:34 - "I will forgive their wrong doing and never again remember their sin" And let the wound heal.

I recieved a message - pretty loud and clear.  Amazingly, this particular devotion was for yesterday specifically - after all we have been through this week, all the dredging up of old feelings and anger, God/the Universe urged me to pick up the pamphlet and helped me find this particular passage.  It's not that I just picked it up and thought, "what is the devotion for the day" and read it.  I actually, quite randomly landed on that page and found afterwards that it was the specific devotion of the day.  Just strange to me...

My lesson is clear - I confessed my feelings (sins) to Nate/Blair pretty plainly and openly.  I forgive Nate for what happened between us. 

Confess, forgive, then forget...............

I'm hoping that this trend dies sometime soon.

September 2009 - I posted about Love, Family and Other Committments. Can't remember all the details as to why I did, but I felt I had to send the reminder out then about what we stand for. Why we're a special family. Why we're so important to each other because when it comes down to it, I can't imagine who else I'd lean on in my darkest hour.
That family has been expanding - Suz, Jordan, Blair. Each of them are extensions of us now. Each one knows their person and the family based on the experiences they've shared with us and the stories and history we've shared with them. My kids are also part of that expanding family and in time, they'll learn more about us so that they can learn from the past to protect their futures.
Some of us believe that our past doesn't define us but I think they may be thinking that definition means trapped. That because we had the life we have had, we're destined to be miserable. Turning our back on it and pretending it didn't affect us is the only way to be happy and at peace.
The thing is - for me (not speaking for all here), my past has made me who I am and I've accepted that. I had to finally embrace it and stop thinking it didn't happen. I tried to hide it and pretend it wasn't that bad and it led to me not talking to Dad and cutting Mom out of my life. Healthy? nope...not one bit. I constantly compared them to others and was left disappointed in them, time and again for not living up to the ideal parent mold. More unhealthy thinking...
I am clinically depressed and because of the family history and admitting I needed help, I have myself in a healthier place. I know that there is a trigger that could be flipped to make me an alcoholic- and started to forget that truth recently and have sinced stopped the wine/beer to make me calm down routine. I had to face these realizations head on to make better choices for me and my family.
I will NOT accept yelling, screaming, throwing things, punching holes in walls, cursing as methods to express anger in my home. I don't threaten another person when I'm angry or try to hurt another so that my hurt isn't as bad. No matter how bad I feel and how much I just want to hide under a bridge, I will NEVER leave my kids and abandon them. Running away doesn't solve the problems, it creates hurt and pain.
These are extreme examples of how I pull the past into my present to make sure my future is happier.
I really don't know what this post was to accomplish but to get this stuff out of my head.

Losing is a common theme

I just need a resolution to all of this.

What does Bryan do at his job?

Well, I thought it would be nice to hear from Bryan what his job is, because I have no idea, bad communication on my part, but it has been awhile since I heard about his occupation.

Love you Bry,
Eric

T-MINUS 9 days

so, here I am, wondering...what our baby sister's 21st birthday bar crawl will be like next week.

anyone want to take bets on how long she lasts? how many drinks til she pukes?

:)

christmas present alert

World's Largest Gummy Bear! this is a GREAT page!

http://www.vat19.com/dvds/worlds-largest-gummy-bear.cfm

Writing to get the demons out

hey kids!
well, it's fall... football, pumpkins, sweaters, chilly air and apples. LOVE this time of year.

I'm hoping that the new season helps pull me back to something positive myself...really, really trying to move towards happiness in whatever way i can find it!

i've started writing again - please visit my blog after you stop by here!

love, me

http://randomthoughtsonlifewithme.blogspot.com/

Keep coming to the table....

This is a wonderful forum for us to stay close as a family and extend the love always and forever.

E

September 14

Just letting everyone know what day it is...

september 13

umm its September and no one has written on this blog for like 2 months...weird!! ok that's all...

Summertime and the livin's easy....

Wondering how Suzanna and I will spend our vacation time this summer, we can fit in some time at the end of August and need suggestions. I'm thinking about the Mackinac area in Michigan, never been there, not too far of a drive.

Carolina's look good for a drive too.

E

Stupid, offensive and paranoid

http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/06/14/ban-on-gay-men-donating-blood-upheld/?hpt=Sbin

Joke's on them. I've been giving blood since I was 15, and have NEVER answered that question with a "yes." So many people could have my clean, gay blood flowing through them.

Thank you, FDA, for telling everyone in America: "Yes, homosexuals are harborers of disease."

In summary...fk that.

From the beginning...

What happened? I would like to see full, honest and clear stories. From everyone involved. I don't want this to grow any further.

Jessie is our sister and we love her.

Nathan is our brother and we love him.

Blair is a nice girl and Nathan loves her.

So why is there so much anger amongst so much love?

From Jordan

Bryan, please post the following on the site:

Brothers and Sisters of the Eberly Family Clan, lend me your ears.

Melodramatic entries aside, I wanted to address the issue going on with Blaire. Since this issue started perking up around Bryan, I've only heard name calling. That's all it's ever amounted to.

(EDIT: Name calling example has been removed for lack of attribution)

Ultimately, the only real issue I've heard of is that she doesn't get along with Jessie, and refuses to associate with Jessie to the point she will not attend family functions if Jessie is there. I understand how this can cause some contention, and I understand I don't have the full story. I've been letting this play out between the family because it's a family issue.

Frankly, though, I understand where Blaire could be coming from. Only Susanna and I can truly relate to Blaire's situation because we're on the outside being brought in. And a lot of the things I've heard said have sounded resentful and antagonistic. I'm not there, so I'm not calling anyone out. But at a personal level, I'd like to speak to Blaire on it and help her reconcile whatever the issues are. The only person who has a right to ask me not to is Nathan. I know it can make everyone else feel uncomfortable, but she's Nathan's girl. No one else is truly invested in this relationship and no one else has the right to tell me to butt out. And if you do ask me to, Nathan I will.

I sincerely do empathize with Blaire, and in order to deescalate the situation, I think it'd be beneficial for me to talk to her and, more importantly, give her someone to talk to. My understanding is that Eric and Andi have both offered her that space, but if I had beef with one of you, I'm not going to talk to your siblings about it. You're all too tightly knit together, which is both intimidating and damning, even though it's something I have always greatly admired about your family.

I've already sent a message to Blaire before this all blew up. Assuming there's no problem with it, Nate, if you could encourage her to talk to me, I'd appreciate it. If she or you don't want me to get involved, then I won't. And that's that.

Stopping the Drama

Hey guys. Jordan is going to talk to Blair as a way of trying to ease the drama between her and J-cat. I almost want to call this the "First Wives Summit." lol. We figure that the best person to get Blair's side of the sotry would be someone on equal footing with her. Jordan is a good candidate because he is also a significant other and only has a bias towards me. The rest of us have the obivous bias toward Nate and J-cat, so we can't failry give Blair room to explain herself.

I think Suzanna could get in on this too, but she may be too well connected to Nate and J-cat by now.

This whole situation is barely any of my business, but I see it as a stressor on my family and wanted to find a simple solution to get rid of the drama.

L'chaim,
Brybry

In the News for Eberly comments

Repeal of DADT going forward...
http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/05/28/congress.military.gays.policy/index.html?hpt=T2

YAY Farmville!
http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/gaming.gadgets/05/26/farmville.mafia.wars.yahoo.mashable/index.html?hpt=Sbin

How careful am I going to be on red-eye flights from now on
http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/05/27/passenger.stuck.on.plane/index.html?hpt=Sbin

Ok, back to the ground rules

No fighting, no calling out people with hurtful and intentionally hurtful comments, no more back and forth comments or arguing about personal issues.

Not the venue.

Obviously we will not agree 100% of the time and that is fine. However, we also must understand if we ask for feedback or opninions on anything we must be open to everything that is said.

Tired of going through this blog and seeing all of this, and I'm tired of being sucked into the same behavior. We are above this.

Since Eric is the administrator, I hope that he is willing to get back to the ground rules and enforce the added rules above.

Thanks everyone.

-Nate

.

Thanks, J-cat

Thanks, Jess, for the critique on Samantha's make-up job. It really shows maturity to be so supportive and tolerant of something you may not agree with. I'm proud of you for it.

That being said, Samantha's make-up is supposed to be somewhat over-the-top for entertainment purposes. Like I told Nate, if I were merely cross-dressing I'd go for a more natural look.

I am not a cross-dresser.

Again, thanks. Love you.