I am so sick of this shit and here's the major reason why. Jordan already asked for orders to the I&I staff at Ft. Lewis, south of Tacoma. He did this because I was promised orders to Seattle and we want to be stationed near each other so we can be together. He now has to ask for new orders...and he can't tell them the reason why.
This is ridiculous! ridiculous that he can't just say, or I can't just say, that we want to be stationed with our husband. It should be that simple:
"I am in love with Cpl. Bryan Eberly (Sgt. Jordan Robles) and wish to marry him. We would like to be stationed together so we can spend our lives together and start a family."
HOW IS THISFAIR? Does the Little Guy deserve this? Why can't I live my life like any other Marine? like any other American?
I need to calm down, but I am reaching a boiling point. I can't keep living my life this way. I can't keep traveling down roads that end in brick walls. I am totally prepared to do something drastic.
That is all. The Little Guy is pissed off beyond relief.
10 comments:
little guy needs to take a walk, please, before he says or does something rash.
we all knew that this would come about with you joining the Corps, that certain aspects of your life would either be put on hold or would be forced to the side by an unforgiving system.
but it was a known inevitability, and a harsh one at that.
No one is going to deny that the laws suck, and should be changed. however, that does not mean that one shouldn't obey them, but hope and fight for change.
keep being the outstanding Marine you are, and keep your head up. But realize that somethings might be out of grasp while serving your country, whether it is fair or not, and it is up to you to decide what is better for you...the Corps or your personal life...as it may not change for a little while, and its up to you if you can continue to go through all of this over and over again.
I'm sorry bryan. it does suck, and I hate seeing you go through all of this, and wish it wasn't like this for you.
buddy, please don't piss your future away over this. nate and i pressed and pressed you about what joining the service would mean for you.
now, for Jordan, i'm sorry he's being stationed that far away now and can't change it. but, even with other relationships in the service, sometimes you get stationed on opposite ends of the world. if the relationship is a "meant to be", then it will work out.
now, my big question is this one now...
more importantly...why did they get cancelled? any chance that someone caught wind of jordan putting in for a transfer to similar west coast place and intervened?
Not a chance in hell that Jordan's request mattered at all. We're in separate units. I truly have no idea why the orders were canceled.
I know I was warned, and I hope you are aware that I've spent 4 years and have been fine. The cracks in the ice are just starting to multiply, as is my nerve. I'm just not a strong enough person to put up with indecency and mistreatment for too long before I snap.
I would be a terrible torture victim.
But I've calmed down and I'm rethinking things. I just really need a long break.
And, so you know, units will do their damnest to put a married couple on station together. I've yet to meet a couple that have been torn apart.
I think the torn apart issue occurs most when in seperate branches of service.
hey buddy...as much as you're gonna HATE hearing this -- you are not married and you don't yet have the same rights as other couples.
Your frustration is only going to increase each time as you continue to go down the path of thought that you are on right now.
And, no disrespect or ill feelings to you, Jor or your relationship...but, from the sounds of it, it seems like the success of your relationship hinges on being together. Are you afraid that the distance is more than your relationship can handle? If so, you need to examine that big time.
couples are separated and endure separation for long periods of time - think of all the spouses of soldiers, airman, sailors and marines...here on US soil, raising kids on their own while their spouses are thousands of miles away. it can be done buddy.
If your relationship can't stand this test, it's no fault of branch you're serving in. it's deeper than that.
You are in a stable place right now being in the service. without a college education or specialized training, you'll flounder out in the civilian world.
keep kicking ass, do your job and remember - right now, you're a Marine first and foremost. :)
Love you buddy! andi
...and another thing. You knew and know the ramifications of your situation. that you can in fact be discharged - you have been WAY to open with your lifestyle - on myspace, facebook, etc.
i don't like that you're being forced into "hiding", but again, you knew that was going to be a given.
Don't let somethign like this ruin your future buddy. if you've been warned, and they've been lenient so far, don't push it.
What is JR doing that's so different that he's not seeing the same treatment? is he more discreet? if so, take a lesson on that. You should be workign toward promotions and better pay and better duty stations. Seeing the world, taking advantage of the small perks being in the service affords you.
What treament are you talking about? I haven't been treated any differently my entire career, hence why I said look at the past 4 years that I've been quiet, subdued.
My problem is that I no longer wish to be subdued, nor feel any need for it. Nothing has changed about my treatment. In that sense, JD is being treated the same way.
I'm not afraid of distance hurting our relationship...I just really, really, really don't want to be apart from him.
Plus, couples in the Marine Corps are never, EVER separated for longer than a year, and the commandant is trying to decrease the amounts of year-long tours. When they are separated they receive huge amounts of compensation for their time apart from each other, and the Marine Corps does whatever it can to keep family units together.
Two questions:
1. Can any relationship last being apart for three years? Without serious work? And at what cost?
2. Why do I keep getting the feeling you aren't putting my relationship with JD on the same pedestal as the average heterosexual relationship?
buddy - I am treating your relationship with J with the same consideration as I would my own.
Each and every relationship requires some sort of work to maintain it... and I'm learning now how much maintenance that means.
Unfortunately, you and JD will not be offered the same rights as a hetero couple. Plain and simple. And deciding to no longer be discreet is definitely NOT going to work the way you think it will. And, the process to change this is going to take time. Probably more time than you'll be in the service. Before you completely throw away all you have worked for, you and J need to make sure you're on the same page. If you decide that being discreet isn't enough for you, are you prepared for the consequences of your actions. Not just your own discharge but even his?
Is he willing to throw away all he's worked for as well? Do you have a plan for how you'll spend the next parts of your lives outside the service?
I might be over-reacting, but you need to really think of this.
You're worried, you're anxious and scared of the what ifs...and really buddy, you'll be fine. Take your next assignment wherever it may be. Kick ass with your job and try to stay focused. And, enjoy the time you have to share with him right now in this moment. Future thinking wastes the time you have in the NOW. :)
Life is unfair most of the time.
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